The buns should have bread the writing on the wall: They’re nothing but the vehicle for Americans’ daily meat-to-mouth resuscitation. Which is why KFC said buh-bye to bread in order to shove even more gross industrial chicken Double Down hungry throats. KFC is shooting for a more manly vehicle for getting meat to the gullet, opting for the Hummer of the food world: more meat.

The recipe for total organ failure? Two slabs of bacon, along with Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese, between two fillets of chicken (this is where the buns get the middle finger), all slathered with the Colonel’s special sauce. That’s 32 grams of grease that KFC’s Double Down will get ya. Because the Colonel isn’t too chicken to add more chicken.

Help Grist raise $25,000 by September 30 to further advance our climate reporting

Psst … for a meaty bonus, scroll down to the bottom of this story for the fictional precursor to the Double Down chicken-on-chicken sandwich. Compliments of 30Rock’s Tracy Jordan!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.

Like what you see? Sign up to receive The Grist List, our email roundup of pun-usual green news just like this, sent out every Friday.