An ode to scary mutant fruits

Awl editor Alex Balk found out that farmers have been tinkering with plant genetics to create cross-breeds like "pluerries," and it inspired him to heights of lyrical brilliance:

Please Don't Make The Fruits Do Sex To Each Other

The freakish fruits that Science spawns—
The pros we know, but not the cons
What laws of nature might we breach
By blending apricot and peach?

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Or still more fearsome, contemplate
An apple grafted to a date
It makes one sit with mouth agape
To ponder kiwi mixed with grape

You know you need to read the rest of it. It could be the great literary work of our time.