This bit of “news” may or may not be another brilliant PETA stunt (damn, they’re good) — but supposedly NBC nixed a luscious Super Bowl ad claiming that “vegetarians have better sex.” I was going to write another poem, but then I came across PETA’s list of NBC’s purported editing requests — pure poetry of its own:

  • licking pumpkin
  • touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli
  • pumpkin from behind between legs
  • rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin
  • screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy)
  • asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina
  • licking eggplant
  • rubbing asparagus on breast.

Keats couldn’t have said it better. Yeah, go ahead, watch it:

‘Veggie Love’: PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad