You could not pay me to write drivel like this. Conspicuous in its absence is the Prius. Chickenshit editor took it out fearing a backlash from the many subscribers who drive them. This article is so bad I’m embarrassed for the author. Don’t bust your gut laughing:

YOUR ENVIRONMENTAL QUOTIENT: You’re still losing sleep over the Kyoto treaty. You obey the speed limit because you think it saves gas. Your wife left you.

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YOUR HYBRID: The Honda Civic. About as boring as it gets. But at up to 50 miles per gallon, the efficiency of one of the most reliable cars ever made will make Mother Earth your new best friend. Though she’ll likely be the only woman ever riding shotgun.

YOUR ENVIRONMENTAL QUOTIENT: You donate to Greenpeace in hopes the hippie chick with the clipboard would sleep with you. She said no. You asked for your money back.

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YOUR HYBRID: The Ford Escape. The weasel of the hybrid SUVs. Its 36 miles per gallon has all the girls chirping. But its embarrassing 155 hp means all it gets are swirlies back at the Elks Lodge.

Pathetic.