This “talking” tree, from Brussels, Belgium, is certainly not the first nonhuman entity to have a social media presence. But unlike, say, the Bronx Zoo cobra, the tree isn’t just a novelty account — it’s a genuine tree, wired with sensors, and its tweets and Facebook statuses are just English translations of data about its local rainfall, noise level, and air quality.

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This unfortunately means it’s pretty boring. You know your one friend who never posts anything on Facebook except, like, “I still have a cold” and “chicken sandwiches FTW” and “yay, it’s Friday”? The talking tree is basically an arboreal version of that. Some sample tweets:

Those are all pretty old, too, and the tree doesn’t even have a Facebook header, so he may have moved on to Tumblr or something. Which means the social media field is wide open for a new wired-up tree that will tweet things like “Hey guys, YOU’RE WELCOME for increasing your property values,” “Ha ha, I’m full of methane, suckers,” and “Brother, can you spare a dime?”

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